i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
