guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
