Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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