how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
