remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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