Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
