I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
