and you said cock pushups were impossible
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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