I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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