I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I believe in your delicious
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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