gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
