I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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