pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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