I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize