Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
