hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
