As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
