i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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