It's just like the Real World with babies
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
