we're blogging at a bar
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
