my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
