i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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