yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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