She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
