Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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