I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
