Kiss
Puke
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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