No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
