is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
