No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
