my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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