No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
