It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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