Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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