I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
