marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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