Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
