Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
