I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize