The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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