The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Drake has all the answers
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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