I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
