dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
