if you like me you must not know who I am
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
