I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
