from now on my penis is your penis
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
