Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
