i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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