You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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