So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
