I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
