I want to have your abortion
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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