The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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