I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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