We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
