So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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