but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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