I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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