dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
