My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
