That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
