two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
