i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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