new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize
